Our Brains Aren't Safe
To write the review in a proper way, there’s a need to
mention something about… the green. It’s not the case this colour is between
blue and yellow in the spectrum. No. I always associate it with serenity,
calming the senses and nervous system down and somehow with hope. But here
something is broken, something went wrong, though its absolute domination on
the front cover. It doesn’t fit because „Ugly Tales” has nothing common with aforementioned
things. Read it: no love, no safety, no sanity. No sunshine, no twittering all
the morning, no zephyr’s puff. This is about horror. About sick trinity named
fear-dread-fright disturbing the peace.
All right, let’s use their bandcamp and call
mathematics out: if counted well, the debut lasts 25:42, plus 2:49 for indroductions,
not composed by the band itself, but taken directly from horror movies. Yes, I
touched the essence here: all the concept behind Abhorrent Funeral has been
based on such moving pictures being just a homage to everything that may be scary
and ominous. Well, my knowlegde of the issue is rather feeble as compared to
Disney’s world for example (I always prefer to look at Pocahontas than Pinhead),
yet one of the most important thing is the band didn’t come the acid and,
thankfully, it flows without any impediment. As for music created by these experienced
musicians, the genre has been described as a (troglodytic) mixture of death and
doom with some punk influences giving few more famous ‘in the vein of’ bands. And
for sure Chicago rooted Cianide should be mentioned at once. I don’t know how
it happened, but „Ugly Tales” became really good variation on „The Dying Truth”
crushing debut, although Poznań offers are a bit shorter, and what’s more, the
drums sound resembles me Kabella’s performance a lot. Of course, simplicity, plainness
and some morbid catchiness are the key factors here but the most important
impession is the band has… time. They do not hurry anywhere. Yep, it results
from the old school death and doom (mainly) stylistics, you know, this is not
FXX Evoluzione, rather Jelcz PR110, without valid servicing, clapped-out, with leaky
oil pan and coming off paints. But still ready to hit the road and crumple the
bones.
Tracks are varied and I cannot write I recognize them
by the intros only but with helpful adjective: catchy as mentioned above. As
punkish aura is concerned, songs like „Why You Don’t Want to Come with Me to
Crystal Lake?” (great title to elongate this review) or „Tommy, Get Your Saw!”
are one the simplest songs I have ever listened to in my whole metal life. But
they both slay without any mercy, I admit! In turn, „Braindead”, the shortest
in the crazy family, but the fastest one is like a pure contradiction to doom rhythm
layers. Vast majority of the songs is maintained in mid pace or even doomy being
extremely good stuff to bang the head out, sometimes it gets more speed
(„Creature from the Swamp” or „Brains!”). Or my beloved „They’re Coming to Get
You”, slow start, faster second part. However „Cannibal Attack” (what a
beautiful title!) made me file a complaint. This track should be faster,
obliterating but it sounds like a ballad when placed at its title. But I do
really liked M.V. singing in here (if I can call it in such a way…), he mixed
two kinds of it: gutturals and shrieking, and all served in undead form, needless
to say. Pity a bit he didn’t use these shrieks more often.
Paraphrasing the song number ten, I can’t avow: „Death
to some, doom to others”, as both styles fit perfectly each other. Well, the
band’s target was to keep it ugly, dirty and completely ahead. And believe me,
they did it without bothering to be irritating, complex or duplicating blindly
antyhing I heard before. Those deranged heralds of interminable horror prepared
eleven putrid rotten tracks devouring my cerebrum and, to put it briefly, that’s
all I can really ask for. Simple to the core but splashy, effective and
killing, with no chance to run away. In closing… forget for a while about
modern technology, Sneap-like production and fucking smartphones, just listen
to „Ugly Tales” playing splendidly released tape all the time till you fukkin
bleed…
(written in November, 2017)
